


Was it Worth It?

by Sokorra



Series: The "Quote" Prompt Series [4]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M, Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 10:26:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan, Erika & the Enterprise crew wonder if they could believe thier own words when they say going out into space was worth it after the death of Commander Tucker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Was it Worth It?

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly, this fic takes in consideration TATV, even though I personally hate that episode and prefer to think of it as a badly written holonovel WIll Riker picked up.

_"I thought that all the risks would be worth it, because just beyond the next planet, just beyond the next star... there would be something magnificent, something noble. And now he is dead, and I have to make a speech about how worthwhile it's all been."_

\- Jonathan Archer ( Enterprise )

* * *

 

When Erika arrived, they were already three sheets to the wind.  T’Pol was sober, but she wasn’t exactly the best designated driver they could ask for. She was essentially the widow and whoever thought taking a grieving vulcan out drinking was a good idea needed to be grounded.  The Vulcan in question was currently staring at the intable light.  IF she didn’t know better, Erika might have assumed she was unaffected and simply meditating.

 

But she did know better.  T’Pol was not trying to meditate because of being unaffected.  She was trying to meditate because that was the only way she could hold it together.  Erika knew the feeling, even though not the exact circumstances. There had been a few days when Jon had been listed amongst the dead before communications cleared and she found out that it had been a mistake.

 

Knowing the man you loved was dead and you weren’t there, and you never got the chance to really tell him how you felt was not a feeling she wished on anyone.

 

Malcolm, Hoshi, and Travis were on one side of her, laughing through their tears as they told stories of Trip’s exploits.  Jon and Phlox sat to the other side, more silent.  Everyone had tears in their eyes.  There was no amount of alcohol in the world that could bring back their friend.

 

“Hey,” she said as she came up behind Jon, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You ready to go?”

 

“Yeah, give me a second.”  She smiled sadly down at him, squeezing his shoulder before moving to the bar to settle the bill, and arrange for transportation for the others for the night.

 

It had been the first day since Trip’s death that they had time to breathe, let alone mourn.  It was hitting them all right now that Trip was gone.  No longer would they hear his colorful sayings, or hear him try and convince T’Pol to watch a horror movie.  They would never hear his voice coming from Engineering.

 

Erika had losses over the years.  No ship had gone without it.  But never someone so close to her as Trip was to Jon.  Her senior staff remained intact, worn and beaten but still there.  She suspected that they thought it was a good idea that Enterprise was being decommissioned to be put up as a museum for  Starfleet history.  Hess wouldn’t want to be Chief of Enterprise.  That was Charles Tucker’s ship.  

 

She made her way back to the table, where the group was starting to disperse.  SHe noticed that Liz Cutler had been sitting at a nearby table and had stood to join Phlox as he left the bar. At least he wouldn’t be alone.  The other three were leaving as a group, pouring into a cab and mentioning Malcolm’s San Francisco address.  She supposed Travis would be dumped on the couch to sleep it off.

 

Which left her drunk husband and his sober but out of it first officer.   

 

“T’pol, its time to go,” she said softly, not wanting to startle the older woman.  She looked up at Erika, grief apparent in her eyes.  Erika tried not to show her surprise.  It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought T’Pol capable of the emotion, it was that T’Pol wasn’t hiding it from her as was her usual behavior.

 

“Yes, you are right,” she finally responded and stood.  “I should find transportation to the consulate.”

 

“Not tonight.  You are coming home with us.”  Erika still could remember those nights she had been under the impression Jon was dead.  SHe had wanted to be alone yet not alone at the same time.  Veronica had spent the night on her couch and occasionally in the same bed, arms wrapped around Erika as she cried.

 

“I couldn’t intrude.”

 

“You are family, T’Pol.”  It was odd to say, but it was true.  Jon’s senior staff and her own were their own extended family.  T’Pol and her might not be the best of friends, but she had a respect for the vulcan and an appreciation of her relationship to her husband. “You won’t be intruding.  You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

 

“She’s right, T’Pol.”  Jon stated from his position beside Erika.  “For tonight at least.”

 

T’pol said nothing but did nod her head slowly as she was accepting with hesitence.  

 

Twenty minutes they were home.  Jon didn’t even stop to take off his jacket but went straight to the room that served as their master bedroom.

 

“Let me show you the guest room,” Erika said, leading T’Pol down the opposite hallway to a room she had set up earlier when Jon had called.  She had even plugged in a heater to make the room a little warmer, more to T’Pol’s comfort level.  “There’s an attached bathroom if you want to take a shower, and we have some vegetarian soup in the cupboard if you are hungry.”

“I am not, but thank you.”  Erika hadn’t suspected that she was.  Grief tended to either make you not feel like eating or made you binge.  She didn’t suspect the Commander to be one of the later.

 

“If you need anything let me know.  I know how it feels.”  

 

“Captain Hernandez...may I ask a question of a personal nature?”

 

“Sure, why not.”  

 

“What made you decide that your relationship with the Captain was worth fighting for despite the obstacles and signs to the contrary?”

 

“I woke up one morning realising that I spent four years alone because I was too afraid to work at it.  Too afraid to push the boundaries that I had put there myself.  I suppose before I had the idea that relationships shouldn’t be that hard, shouldn’t require so much work.  But I know better now.  Its often those relationships you have to work at that are the most satisfying.” she paused.  “Sometimes logic doesn’t have the answers and you have to take a deep breath and just jump in with an almost certain.”

 

“I fear my logic was not sound where the Commander was concerned.”

 

“It rarely is when it comes to our family, our love ones.  And making invisible lines you won’t cross doesn’t make the situation easier or less painful.”

 

“No, it does not.”  T’pol replied.  “Goodnight, Captain.  Your hospitality is appreciated.”

 

Erika said nothing, just smiled and nodded in acceptance.  With that she left the other woman and went searching for her husband.  She eventually found him in the bedroom, his hair wet and dressed in only a towel. She could tell that he had sobered up slightly, but she knew it probably wasn’t all dissipated.  She got him a glass of water, making him drink it without saying a word.  

 

When she had finished getting ready for bed, the two of them crawled into bed, holding onto each other.

 

“It doesn’t seem real.”

 

“I know.  

 

“How am I supposed to believe in my own speech about how it was all worth it when I see what I’ve lost.”

 

“Just focus on what you gained as well.  Besides, you know Trip was an optimist most of the time.  What you did earlier, bringing everyone together and starting a new future?  He would have liked that.”

 

“He did.”

 

“So it was worthwhile. It brought all those people together, we have explored so much, and yet have so much more to go.”

 

Jon nodded, but didn’t respond otherwise, drawing her closer and kissing her on the forehead before settling down for sleep.

 


End file.
